I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I need moral support for this bender
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
