He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Do vagina's smell?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
