didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
