I've blown a few things in my day
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Randomize
