I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
foreskin is a definite game changer
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
