so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
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Need some drizzle for that special mouth?
- Sex Addict
My dick can do work, your dick is a dork
My dick, the Incredible Hulk, ur dick just sits there and sulks
My dick makes an appearance, your dick is in clearance
My dick casts a large shadow, your dick would lose in a battle.
My dick is fucking delicious, your isn't even vicious
Nope, I didn't die. I'm still here. And guess what? I told my clique that they were losers and I'm done with them now. (:
Nah, I started at 12:40...
My dick, knocked down the berlin wall. Yo dick, is small without a ball.
My dick even smokes joints, your dick -10 points
My dick can blow a huge load, your dick looks like a little chode.
My dick fucked your girl, your dick made her wanna hurl
My dick makes chicks moan, you dick needs to get a loan
My dick has been put to good use, your dick can barely even juice
...your dicks are tiny and you will never get laid
My dick fucked the whole population, your dick needs a consultation
Why yes. Yes you are.
My dick, gets a 1st class flight, ur dick look like a dust mite
My dick bigger than a tree shade, ur dick look like it's 3rd grade
My dick costs a late night fee, your dick has the HIV
my dick cost a late night fee, yo dick gots the HIV
i left a water bottle full of vodka in the fridge and my friend gulped it down on accident. also i was at my friends apartment and thirsty and ended up doing the same thing. this does happen.
My dick waves hello, your dick is just like jello
My dick, got it's own zip code, ur dick feel a zipper when it's cold
I know, it's fun, I just made up 12:40 and 12:41
My dick can be used as a weapon, your dick needs a lesson
My dick is a leader, your dick is milimeter
My dick makes all pussys feel tight, your dick isn't even in sight.
my dick benched 350, yours couldnt even shoplift at thriftys
Dude. What is with all these my dicks? Well you know what? My dick is like super size, your dick look like 2 fries! Oh and im a chick, BYTHEWAY
My dick, has fucked more hoes than Walt Chamberlain. Yo dick, it aint even in the game.
My dick, dislocated her hips, ur dick look like a Fun Dip
my dick loves to fuck, you dick needs more luck
my dick is supersized, you dick looks like two fries
i love drinking as soon as i wake up
Her boyfriend must be real small if she's joking on a special k bar
hell yes. lets all get drunk in the morning
My dick can control itself, you dick is stuck on the shelf
My dick. hung like a horse. Your dick keeps gettig worse
My dick can stab you in the eye, your dick looks like a fly
My dick can win a girls heart, your dick can only fart
My dick, USDA Approved, ur dick not even fast food
When full erect, my penis spans a full 3 inches
My dick has its own cell phone, your dick can't even bone
Story of my lifeeeee
My dick, is more loved than tom brady. Yo dick, aint never seen a lady.
My dick, got 'em beggin for mercy, ur dick look smaller than a Hershey
My dick is VIP, your dick needs ID
My dick smells like roses, your dick covers noses
Oh mickey avalone how i love you
Why did you only spell "two" correctly the third time?
My dick has a large eruption, your dick doesnt even function
My dick, gets all the girls off, ur dick is just numb and soft
My dick owns a gun, your dick hides from the sun
My dick looks good in HD, your dick can barely even pee
no really, thats terrible. like super fml moment, all you wanna do is not choke and die and then you add not get alcohol poisoning? D:
Ma dick strikes oil in the morning, ya dick is stupid and boring.
My dick keeps you wanting more, your dick is weak and sore
My dick is a mac, your dick is a pc pick up the slack
My dick fucks and never quits, your dick just sucks other dicks.
U people MADE my night! Thanx! Rock on
my dick is large and in charge, your dick seems to be locked behind bars
my dick fucks big ol' titties, your dick fucks little kiddies
My dick, keeps poundin the cervix, ur dick look flaccid and nervous
My dick fucked your wife, your dick sucks at life.
LBR... againnn. nawt suprisinnnng at awl.
My dick, has fucked every girl in town. Yo dick, is stuck in that guys brown.
My dick, keep girls wantin action, ur dick ain't even worth a fraction
My dick can stick it in your ass, your dick has no class
My dick, stands at attention, ur dick doesn't even get mentioned
My dick has been all around, you dick cant even create a sound
My dick, snickers king size, ur dick never satisfies
My dick is always groomed, your dick is pretty much doomed
My dick gets licked by the Queen, your dick looks like a fucking bean.
My dick, rumble in the jungle. Yo dick, got touched by yo uncle.
i smoked to joints in the morning, i smoked to joints at night
i smoked two joints before i smoked to joints... it makes me feel ALL RIGHT! :)
My dick can shotgun a bottle of whiskey, Yo dick takes 3 days to get frisky
My dick brings all the boys to the yard...
My dick plays on a double feature screen, your dick went straight to DVD
My dick can save lives, your dick has hives
My dick is so large it has its own name, your dick puts all dicks to shame.
My dick, fits snug and cozy, ur dick looks ugly like Rosie
my dick is so fucking massive, yours is shy and passive
I get it! One would expect to find some water in a bottle in the morning but it turns out it was leftover liquor from the night before! What happenstance!
My dick fucks someone everyday, you dick is lost in a pile of hay.
my dick fucks all the women, your dick can't even get em!
i've done like half of these haha
My dick, got voted The Prettiest, ur dick got voted as Wittiest
Charles Rutherford thinks you lack originality and look like Gary Coleman!
My dick has a high IQ your smells like poo
My dick has massive balls, your dick is stuck behind walls
I'm white too, doesn't matter...I do have a rap album on iTunes though..
My dick, Clint Eastwood scary, ur dick just Dirty and Hairy
Fucking beyond lame!
My dick, got a big ass shaft, ur dick play World of Warcraft
IM A GIRL I DONT HAVE A DICK
all of your dicks are probably worthless and my once throbbing pussy is now officially scared of the short, hairy mess in your pants. just sayin.
My dick makes all the girls cum, your dick is small and dumb
My dick nobody can hate, your dick isnt even straight
My dick can slap you in the face, your dick i can't even trace
I'll rap battle anyone...give me 4 words
My dick needs a king size bed, your dick never even got head
My dick is always hard, your dick is a fucking tub of lard
My dick made me dinner, your dick looks so much thinner
it is, it really is. i googled "how to be popular" and it said "dont spell anything correctly". so im not an L R!
My dick, got a standin ovation, ur dick got a burnin sensation
My dick has its own job, your dick cant even throb
My dick, double digits long, ur dick doesn't even belong
This one is more than retarded, I'm drunk and I know that I would hate it in any state of mind... How did it get published!
My dick can't even hide, your dick must have died.
My dick is bigger than a plane, you dick never even came
I've posted 11 originals since 12:40, I use the my dick/ur dick
Wow great story you should tell that at parties!!! Maybe next year..... but prolly not!
If you thought that was funny, be sure to tune in to Lopez Tonight on TBS at 11/10c. It's really THAT funny!
I'm actually a girl doing this.. haha
My dick has its own record label, your dick isnt even stable
my dick loves to travel, your dick looks like gravel
My dick likes to get in fights, your dick is scared of heights
My dick gets sucked all the time, your dick isn't even prime
My dick has fee's that are due, your dick needs a tweezer dude
Comments > actual text
My dick, use 2 hands to cum, ur dick just a finger and a thumb
My dick can sit in a chair, your dick wouldnt even dare
My dick makes pussys get wet, your dick isn't even set
My dick, cut harder than a diamond, ur dick can't even break the hymen
My dick, so heavy it hangs, ur dick look like a sex change
My dick, tastes good like Borden's, ur dick tastes salty like Morton's
woohoo. south carolina area code!
My dick can squirt across the room, your dick is ready for its tomb.
My dick, stay hard like Tequila, ur dick, worked on by Bob Vila
Whered clique girl go? I LOVE HER!
My dick is sick and dangerous, your dick is quick and painless
I believe i'm an expert at about 75% of these
My dick, barely fits in the ocean, ur dick gets fucked with lotion
My dick gets so much ass, you dick has no mass
My dick, bigger than Tommy Lee, ur dick u let mommy see
My dick fucked your mom, your dick fucked dom
My dick has all the power, your dick isnt even flowered
My dick, stretches her pussy walls, ur dick she can't even feel at all
My dick drags when i walk, your dick can't even talk
My dick bigger than a plasma, ur dick so weak it got asthma
My dick is always horny, your dick is really fucking corny
My dick, is busy getting laid. Yo dick, wont ever make the grade.
My dick is smaller then my dogs
My dick, fucked ur girlfriend to death, ur dick look addicted to Meth
:( talk to me D.. :'(
Ma dick carries a load, ya dick looks like a chode.
My dick, can populate the whole world, ur dick ain't even been inside a girl
speeeelling correctlay is so last year. hawwnestllly.
My dick does some damage, your dick needs a bandage
My dick, couldn't fit in a coozie, ur dick shoot quick like an oozie
breakfast of champions
my dick parts the seas, your dick just farts and queefs
My dick never gets cold, your dick you cant even hold