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  • 47 42
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:14am

    ...your dicks are tiny and you will never get laid

  • 48 47
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:55am

    My dick, the Incredible Hulk, ur dick just sits there and sulks

  • 45 42
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:29am

    My dick can blow a huge load, your dick looks like a little chode.

  • 48 51
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:44am

    My dick fucked your girl, your dick made her wanna hurl

  • 46 50
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:03am

    My dick has its own cell phone, your dick can't even bone

  • 49 57
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:12am

    My dick can do work, your dick is a dork

  • 45 51
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:52am

    My dick. hung like a horse. Your dick keeps gettig worse

  • 49 59
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:02am

    Nope, I didn't die. I'm still here. And guess what? I told my clique that they were losers and I'm done with them now. (:

  • 40 42
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:39am

    Oh mickey avalone how i love you

  • 43 49
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:08am

    My dick is fucking delicious, your isn't even vicious

  • 46 55
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:28am

    Need some drizzle for that special mouth? - Sex Addict

  • 51 65
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 9, 09 at 11:33pm

    Why did you only spell "two" correctly the third time? -D

  • 43 50
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:30am

    My dick has a large eruption, your dick doesnt even function

  • 44 52
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:29am

    Nah, I started at 12:40...

  • 47 58
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:55am

    My dick, keeps poundin the cervix, ur dick look flaccid and nervous

  • 45 55
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 8:45am

    My dick, knocked down the berlin wall. Yo dick, is small without a ball.

  • 44 53
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:00am

    My dick fucked the whole population, your dick needs a consultation

  • 47 59
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:58am

    My dick makes an appearance, your dick is in clearance

  • 44 53
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:40am

    My dick, gets a 1st class flight, ur dick look like a dust mite

  • 47 61
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:38am

    My dick casts a large shadow, your dick would lose in a battle.

  • 38 43
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:17am

    my dick is so fucking massive, yours is shy and passive

  • 39 46
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 8:42am

    My dick, has fucked more hoes than Walt Chamberlain. Yo dick, it aint even in the game.

  • 42 52
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 9, 09 at 11:30pm

    Why yes. Yes you are.

  • 43 55
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 9:08am

    Ma dick strikes oil in the morning, ya dick is stupid and boring.

  • 41 51
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:12am

    my dick benched 350, yours couldnt even shoplift at thriftys

  • 44 57
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:02am

    I'm white too, doesn't matter...I do have a rap album on iTunes though..

  • 43 56
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:44am

    my dick is large and in charge, your dick seems to be locked behind bars

  • 41 52
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:15am

    My dick can win a girls heart, your dick can only fart

  • 41 52
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:11am

    my dick is supersized, you dick looks like two fries

  • 46 62
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 9, 09 at 11:24pm

    Her boyfriend must be real small if she's joking on a special k bar

  • 36 43
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:49am

    My dick has been put to good use, your dick can barely even juice

  • 44 59
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:33am

    My dick can stab you in the eye, your dick looks like a fly

  • 42 55
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:21am

    My dick even smokes joints, your dick -10 points

  • 40 51
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:45am

    My dick, got it's own zip code, ur dick feel a zipper when it's cold

  • 35 43
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:47am

    My dick fucked your wife, your dick sucks at life.

  • 39 51
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:41am

    My dick makes all pussys feel tight, your dick isn't even in sight.

  • 43 59
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:39am

    My dick is so large it has its own name, your dick puts all dicks to shame.

  • 40 54
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:15am

    My dick waves hello, your dick is just like jello

  • 41 56
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:57am

    My dick makes chicks moan, you dick needs to get a loan

  • 36 46
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:21am

    My dick, gets all the girls off, ur dick is just numb and soft

  • 45 64
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:40am

    My dick, snickers king size, ur dick never satisfies

  • 40 55
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:30am

    My dick can save lives, your dick has hives

  • 37 49
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:14am

    My dick has its own job, your dick cant even throb

  • 36 47
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:15am

    My dick, got voted The Prettiest, ur dick got voted as Wittiest

  • 33 41
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:23am

    i left a water bottle full of vodka in the fridge and my friend gulped it down on accident. also i was at my friends apartment and thirsty and ended up doing the same thing. this does happen.

  • 39 54
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:51am

    My dick fucks someone everyday, you dick is lost in a pile of hay.

  • 36 48
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:32am

    My dick, got 'em beggin for mercy, ur dick look smaller than a Hershey

  • 43 63
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:18am

    IM A GIRL I DONT HAVE A DICK

  • 42 61
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:01am

    My dick made me dinner, your dick looks so much thinner

  • 39 56
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:48am

    My dick smells like roses, your dick covers noses

  • 36 50
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:23am

    When full erect, my penis spans a full 3 inches

  • 34 47
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 11:57am

    Dude. What is with all these my dicks? Well you know what? My dick is like super size, your dick look like 2 fries! Oh and im a chick, BYTHEWAY - Mattie!

  • 37 53
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:34am

    My dick owns a gun, your dick hides from the sun

  • 41 61
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:16am

    My dick, dislocated her hips, ur dick look like a Fun Dip

  • 38 55
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:20am

    My dick is VIP, your dick needs ID

  • 39 57
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:42am

    I know, it's fun, I just made up 12:40 and 12:41

  • 38 56
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:38am

    My dick has a high IQ your smells like poo

  • 40 60
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:31am

    My dick can stick it in your ass, your dick has no class

  • 36 52
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:22am

    My dick, stands at attention, ur dick doesn't even get mentioned

  • 36 53
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 3:44pm

    Story of my lifeeeee

  • 37 55
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:11am

    My dick can control itself, you dick is stuck on the shelf

  • 36 54
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:41am

    My dick, got a standin ovation, ur dick got a burnin sensation

  • 35 52
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:54am

    My dick, keep girls wantin action, ur dick ain't even worth a fraction

  • 46 74
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 9, 09 at 11:54pm

    If you thought that was funny, be sure to tune in to Lopez Tonight on TBS at 11/10c. It's really THAT funny!

  • 34 51
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:36am

    my dick fucks big ol' titties, your dick fucks little kiddies

  • 38 59
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:31am

    My dick, tastes good like Borden's, ur dick tastes salty like Morton's

  • 38 59
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 9, 09 at 11:24pm

    hell yes. lets all get drunk in the morning

  • 34 52
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 7:41pm

    i love drinking as soon as i wake up

  • 33 50
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 11:12am

    My dick fucks and never quits, your dick just sucks other dicks.

  • 37 58
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:37am

    My dick is a mac, your dick is a pc pick up the slack

  • 34 52
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:10am

    My dick is sick and dangerous, your dick is quick and painless

  • 36 56
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 9, 09 at 11:30pm

    i smoked to joints in the morning, i smoked to joints at night i smoked two joints before i smoked to joints... it makes me feel ALL RIGHT! :)

  • 35 55
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:19am

    My dick can be used as a weapon, your dick needs a lesson

  • 38 61
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:03am

    I believe i'm an expert at about 75% of these

  • 35 55
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:48am

    My dick has been all around, you dick cant even create a sound

  • 36 57
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:05am

    My dick, use 2 hands to cum, ur dick just a finger and a thumb

  • 34 53
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:43am

    My dick bigger than a tree shade, ur dick look like it's 3rd grade

  • 32 50
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 11, 09 at 9:16am

    no really, thats terrible. like super fml moment, all you wanna do is not choke and die and then you add not get alcohol poisoning? D:

  • 35 56
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 8:47am

    My dick, is more loved than tom brady. Yo dick, aint never seen a lady.

  • 34 54
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:09am

    all of your dicks are probably worthless and my once throbbing pussy is now officially scared of the short, hairy mess in your pants. just sayin.

  • 35 56
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:39am

    My dick plays on a double feature screen, your dick went straight to DVD

  • 37 62
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:44am

    My dick, barely fits in the ocean, ur dick gets fucked with lotion

  • 34 56
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:12am

    Charles Rutherford thinks you lack originality and look like Gary Coleman!

  • 31 50
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 9, 09 at 11:58pm

    Wow great story you should tell that at parties!!! Maybe next year..... but prolly not!

  • 35 59
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:02am

    My dick can't even hide, your dick must have died.

  • 34 57
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:50am

    My dick is a leader, your dick is milimeter

  • 37 64
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:04am

    My dick, Clint Eastwood scary, ur dick just Dirty and Hairy

  • 37 64
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:46am

    My dick, couldn't fit in a coozie, ur dick shoot quick like an oozie

  • 36 63
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:07am

    my dick cost a late night fee, yo dick gots the HIV

  • 28 47
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:46am

    My dick is smaller then my dogs

  • 31 53
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:23am

    My dick, stretches her pussy walls, ur dick she can't even feel at all

  • 31 53
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:38am

    My dick costs a late night fee, your dick has the HIV

  • 29 50
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:37am

    My dick is bigger than a plane, you dick never even came

  • 29 50
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:17am

    my dick loves to fuck, you dick needs more luck

  • 34 60
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:09am

    my dick parts the seas, your dick just farts and queefs

  • 37 66
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:34am

    I get it! One would expect to find some water in a bottle in the morning but it turns out it was leftover liquor from the night before! What happenstance! -Dewey

  • 32 56
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 9, 09 at 11:26pm

    LBR... againnn. nawt suprisinnnng at awl.

  • 32 57
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:25am

    My dick likes to get in fights, your dick is scared of heights

  • 34 61
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:28am

    My dick, fits snug and cozy, ur dick looks ugly like Rosie

  • 28 49
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:19am

    This one is more than retarded, I'm drunk and I know that I would hate it in any state of mind... How did it get published!

  • 32 58
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:47am

    My dick is always horny, your dick is really fucking corny

  • 33 60
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:27am

    My dick is always groomed, your dick is pretty much doomed

  • 35 64
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:56am

    My dick, USDA Approved, ur dick not even fast food

  • 28 50
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:26am

    My dick gets licked by the Queen, your dick looks like a fucking bean.

  • 30 55
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 4:02pm

    My dick can shotgun a bottle of whiskey, Yo dick takes 3 days to get frisky

  • 29 53
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:45am

    My dick is always hard, your dick is a fucking tub of lard

  • 28 52
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 10:56am

    My dick brings all the boys to the yard... O_O

  • 27 50
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 9:09am

    Ma dick carries a load, ya dick looks like a chode.

  • 33 62
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:15am

    My dick looks good in HD, your dick can barely even pee

  • 33 62
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:45am

    my dick loves to travel, your dick looks like gravel

  • 26 48
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:02am

    My dick, stay hard like Tequila, ur dick, worked on by Bob Vila

  • 31 58
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 9, 09 at 11:36pm

    it is, it really is. i googled "how to be popular" and it said "dont spell anything correctly". so im not an L R!

  • 26 49
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 8:48am

    My dick, is busy getting laid. Yo dick, wont ever make the grade.

  • 31 59
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:42am

    My dick, so heavy it hangs, ur dick look like a sex change

  • 29 55
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:30am

    I'll rap battle anyone...give me 4 words

  • 30 58
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 4:49am

    Comments > actual text

  • 31 60
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:04am

    My dick, rumble in the jungle. Yo dick, got touched by yo uncle.

  • 27 53
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:31am

    My dick has massive balls, your dick is stuck behind walls

  • 31 61
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:21am

    My dick, fucked ur girlfriend to death, ur dick look addicted to Meth

  • 32 63
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:09am

    My dick does some damage, your dick needs a bandage

  • 30 60
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:42am

    My dick keeps you wanting more, your dick is weak and sore

  • 32 64
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:34am

    I'm actually a girl doing this.. haha

  • 26 52
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:24am

    My dick, bigger than Tommy Lee, ur dick u let mommy see

  • 29 59
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:37am

    My dick can sit in a chair, your dick wouldnt even dare

  • 25 51
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:22am

    My dick can slap you in the face, your dick i can't even trace

  • 32 65
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:34am

    My dick makes all the girls cum, your dick is small and dumb

  • 26 55
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:50am

    woohoo. south carolina area code!

  • 25 54
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:09am

    My dick has all the power, your dick isnt even flowered

  • 30 64
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:59am

    My dick drags when i walk, your dick can't even talk

  • 25 54
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:23am

    My dick gets sucked all the time, your dick isn't even prime

  • 27 58
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:22am

    my dick fucks all the women, your dick can't even get em! i've done like half of these haha

  • 29 62
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 9, 09 at 11:35pm

    :( talk to me D.. :'( -Jenna

  • 31 67
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:07am

    My dick makes pussys get wet, your dick isn't even set

  • 28 61
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:02am

    My dick, double digits long, ur dick doesn't even belong

  • 30 65
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:44am

    Fucking beyond lame!

  • 25 57
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:48am

    My dick, cut harder than a diamond, ur dick can't even break the hymen

  • 29 66
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 3:08am

    U people MADE my night! Thanx! Rock on

  • 26 60
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:50am

    My dick can squirt across the room, your dick is ready for its tomb.

  • 28 64
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:04am

    My dick needs a king size bed, your dick never even got head

  • 21 50
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:12am

    I've posted 11 originals since 12:40, I use the my dick/ur dick

  • 23 54
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:51am

    My dick, got a big ass shaft, ur dick play World of Warcraft

  • 26 61
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 8:53am

    My dick, has fucked every girl in town. Yo dick, is stuck in that guys brown.

  • 26 61
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:41am

    My dick bigger than a plasma, ur dick so weak it got asthma

  • 26 62
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:40am

    My dick has its own record label, your dick isnt even stable

  • 24 59
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:40am

    My dick nobody can hate, your dick isnt even straight

  • 21 53
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:26am

    My dick fucked your mom, your dick fucked dom

  • 25 62
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:50am

    My dick, can populate the whole world, ur dick ain't even been inside a girl

  • 27 68
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 9, 09 at 11:34pm

    speeeelling correctlay is so last year. hawwnestllly.

  • 21 57
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:26am

    My dick never gets cold, your dick you cant even hold

  • 24 66
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 9, 09 at 11:59pm

    Whered clique girl go? I LOVE HER!

  • 23 65
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 9, 09 at 11:24pm

    breakfast of champions

  • 22 64
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:31am

    My dick gets so much ass, you dick has no mass

  • 23 66
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:06am

    My dick has fee's that are due, your dick needs a tweezer dude