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  • My dick can do work, your dick is a dork

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:12am
  • My dick makes an appearance, your dick is in clearance

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:58am
  • My dick casts a large shadow, your dick would lose in a battle.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:38am
  • My dick, the Incredible Hulk, ur dick just sits there and sulks

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:55am
  • Need some drizzle for that special mouth? - Sex Addict

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:28am
  • Nope, I didn't die. I'm still here. And guess what? I told my clique that they were losers and I'm done with them now. (:

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:02am
  • My dick even smokes joints, your dick -10 points

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:21am
  • My dick is fucking delicious, your isn't even vicious

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:08am
  • Nah, I started at 12:40...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:29am
  • My dick, knocked down the berlin wall. Yo dick, is small without a ball.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 8:45am
  • My dick makes chicks moan, you dick needs to get a loan

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:57am
  • My dick fucked your girl, your dick made her wanna hurl

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:44am
  • My dick waves hello, your dick is just like jello

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:15am
  • ...your dicks are tiny and you will never get laid

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:14am
  • My dick bigger than a tree shade, ur dick look like it's 3rd grade

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:43am
  • my dick cost a late night fee, yo dick gots the HIV

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:07am
  • My dick can blow a huge load, your dick looks like a little chode.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:29am
  • My dick has been put to good use, your dick can barely even juice

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:49am
  • My dick fucked the whole population, your dick needs a consultation

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:00am
  • My dick costs a late night fee, your dick has the HIV

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:38am
  • i left a water bottle full of vodka in the fridge and my friend gulped it down on accident. also i was at my friends apartment and thirsty and ended up doing the same thing. this does happen.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:23am
  • My dick, gets a 1st class flight, ur dick look like a dust mite

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:40am
  • my dick benched 350, yours couldnt even shoplift at thriftys

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:12am
  • My dick, got it's own zip code, ur dick feel a zipper when it's cold

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:45am
  • My dick, has fucked more hoes than Walt Chamberlain. Yo dick, it aint even in the game.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 8:42am
  • My dick makes all pussys feel tight, your dick isn't even in sight.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:41am
  • my dick is supersized, you dick looks like two fries

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:11am
  • i love drinking as soon as i wake up

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 7:41pm
  • My dick. hung like a horse. Your dick keeps gettig worse

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:52am
  • My dick can be used as a weapon, your dick needs a lesson

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:19am
  • My dick is a leader, your dick is milimeter

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:50am
  • hell yes. lets all get drunk in the morning

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 9, 09 at 11:24pm
  • My dick, dislocated her hips, ur dick look like a Fun Dip

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:16am
  • My dick can control itself, you dick is stuck on the shelf

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:11am
  • I know, it's fun, I just made up 12:40 and 12:41

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:42am
  • my dick loves to fuck, you dick needs more luck

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:17am
  • Why yes. Yes you are.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 9, 09 at 11:30pm
  • My dick, is more loved than tom brady. Yo dick, aint never seen a lady.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 8:47am
  • My dick has its own cell phone, your dick can't even bone

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:03am
  • Story of my lifeeeee

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 3:44pm
  • Dude. What is with all these my dicks? Well you know what? My dick is like super size, your dick look like 2 fries! Oh and im a chick, BYTHEWAY - Mattie!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 11:57am
  • When full erect, my penis spans a full 3 inches

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:23am
  • My dick has a large eruption, your dick doesnt even function

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:30am
  • Her boyfriend must be real small if she's joking on a special k bar

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 9, 09 at 11:24pm
  • My dick can win a girls heart, your dick can only fart

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:15am
  • Why did you only spell "two" correctly the third time? -D

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 9, 09 at 11:33pm
  • My dick keeps you wanting more, your dick is weak and sore

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:42am
  • my dick fucks big ol' titties, your dick fucks little kiddies

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:36am
  • my dick is large and in charge, your dick seems to be locked behind bars

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:44am
  • My dick can stab you in the eye, your dick looks like a fly

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:33am
  • My dick is VIP, your dick needs ID

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:20am
  • Oh mickey avalone how i love you

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:39am
  • My dick owns a gun, your dick hides from the sun

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:34am
  • My dick, gets all the girls off, ur dick is just numb and soft

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:21am
  • My dick is a mac, your dick is a pc pick up the slack

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:37am
  • My dick, got 'em beggin for mercy, ur dick look smaller than a Hershey

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:32am
  • LBR... againnn. nawt suprisinnnng at awl.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 9, 09 at 11:26pm
  • My dick, USDA Approved, ur dick not even fast food

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:56am
  • My dick, snickers king size, ur dick never satisfies

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:40am
  • no really, thats terrible. like super fml moment, all you wanna do is not choke and die and then you add not get alcohol poisoning? D:

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 11, 09 at 9:16am
  • Ma dick strikes oil in the morning, ya dick is stupid and boring.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 9:08am
  • My dick, has fucked every girl in town. Yo dick, is stuck in that guys brown.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 8:53am
  • My dick fucked your wife, your dick sucks at life.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:47am
  • My dick, rumble in the jungle. Yo dick, got touched by yo uncle.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:04am
  • My dick fucks and never quits, your dick just sucks other dicks.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 11:12am
  • My dick smells like roses, your dick covers noses

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:48am
  • My dick is so large it has its own name, your dick puts all dicks to shame.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:39am
  • My dick, keeps poundin the cervix, ur dick look flaccid and nervous

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:55am
  • My dick plays on a double feature screen, your dick went straight to DVD

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:39am
  • i smoked to joints in the morning, i smoked to joints at night i smoked two joints before i smoked to joints... it makes me feel ALL RIGHT! :)

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 9, 09 at 11:30pm
  • U people MADE my night! Thanx! Rock on

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 3:08am
  • My dick can save lives, your dick has hives

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:30am
  • My dick has been all around, you dick cant even create a sound

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:48am
  • My dick, stands at attention, ur dick doesn't even get mentioned

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:22am
  • I'm white too, doesn't matter...I do have a rap album on iTunes though..

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:02am
  • My dick is always groomed, your dick is pretty much doomed

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:27am
  • My dick, keep girls wantin action, ur dick ain't even worth a fraction

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:54am
  • My dick looks good in HD, your dick can barely even pee

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:15am
  • My dick fucks someone everyday, you dick is lost in a pile of hay.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:51am
  • My dick, got voted The Prettiest, ur dick got voted as Wittiest

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:15am
  • My dick can shotgun a bottle of whiskey, Yo dick takes 3 days to get frisky

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 4:02pm
  • My dick can stick it in your ass, your dick has no class

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:31am
  • Fucking beyond lame!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:44am
  • My dick gets licked by the Queen, your dick looks like a fucking bean.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:26am
  • Charles Rutherford thinks you lack originality and look like Gary Coleman!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:12am
  • My dick brings all the boys to the yard... O_O

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 10:56am
  • all of your dicks are probably worthless and my once throbbing pussy is now officially scared of the short, hairy mess in your pants. just sayin.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:09am
  • My dick, Clint Eastwood scary, ur dick just Dirty and Hairy

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:04am
  • my dick fucks all the women, your dick can't even get em! i've done like half of these haha

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:22am
  • My dick, got a big ass shaft, ur dick play World of Warcraft

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:51am
  • I get it! One would expect to find some water in a bottle in the morning but it turns out it was leftover liquor from the night before! What happenstance! -Dewey

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:34am
  • I'll rap battle anyone...give me 4 words

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:30am
  • My dick, got a standin ovation, ur dick got a burnin sensation

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:41am
  • My dick has a high IQ your smells like poo

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:38am
  • My dick has massive balls, your dick is stuck behind walls

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:31am
  • My dick can slap you in the face, your dick i can't even trace

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:22am
  • IM A GIRL I DONT HAVE A DICK

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:18am
  • My dick, fits snug and cozy, ur dick looks ugly like Rosie

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:28am
  • my dick is so fucking massive, yours is shy and passive

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:17am
  • My dick nobody can hate, your dick isnt even straight

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:40am
  • This one is more than retarded, I'm drunk and I know that I would hate it in any state of mind... How did it get published!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:19am
  • My dick, double digits long, ur dick doesn't even belong

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:02am
  • My dick makes all the girls cum, your dick is small and dumb

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:34am
  • it is, it really is. i googled "how to be popular" and it said "dont spell anything correctly". so im not an L R!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 9, 09 at 11:36pm
  • My dick is bigger than a plane, you dick never even came

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:37am
  • If you thought that was funny, be sure to tune in to Lopez Tonight on TBS at 11/10c. It's really THAT funny!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 9, 09 at 11:54pm
  • My dick is always hard, your dick is a fucking tub of lard

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:45am
  • My dick has its own record label, your dick isnt even stable

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:40am
  • My dick has its own job, your dick cant even throb

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:14am
  • My dick needs a king size bed, your dick never even got head

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:04am
  • My dick can't even hide, your dick must have died.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:02am
  • My dick made me dinner, your dick looks so much thinner

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:01am
  • I'm actually a girl doing this.. haha

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:34am
  • My dick makes pussys get wet, your dick isn't even set

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:07am
  • my dick loves to travel, your dick looks like gravel

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:45am
  • My dick likes to get in fights, your dick is scared of heights

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:25am
  • My dick, tastes good like Borden's, ur dick tastes salty like Morton's

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:31am
  • I've posted 11 originals since 12:40, I use the my dick/ur dick

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:12am
  • My dick can sit in a chair, your dick wouldnt even dare

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:37am
  • My dick, so heavy it hangs, ur dick look like a sex change

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:42am
  • My dick gets sucked all the time, your dick isn't even prime

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:23am
  • Wow great story you should tell that at parties!!! Maybe next year..... but prolly not!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 9, 09 at 11:58pm
  • Comments > actual text

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 4:49am
  • My dick can squirt across the room, your dick is ready for its tomb.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:50am
  • My dick, stay hard like Tequila, ur dick, worked on by Bob Vila

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:02am
  • Whered clique girl go? I LOVE HER!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 9, 09 at 11:59pm
  • woohoo. south carolina area code!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:50am
  • My dick, cut harder than a diamond, ur dick can't even break the hymen

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:48am
  • My dick has all the power, your dick isnt even flowered

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:09am
  • My dick is sick and dangerous, your dick is quick and painless

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:10am
  • My dick is always horny, your dick is really fucking corny

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:47am
  • My dick, barely fits in the ocean, ur dick gets fucked with lotion

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:44am
  • My dick, use 2 hands to cum, ur dick just a finger and a thumb

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:05am
  • My dick gets so much ass, you dick has no mass

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:31am
  • My dick has fee's that are due, your dick needs a tweezer dude

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:06am
  • My dick bigger than a plasma, ur dick so weak it got asthma

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:41am
  • My dick fucked your mom, your dick fucked dom

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:26am
  • I believe i'm an expert at about 75% of these

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:03am
  • My dick drags when i walk, your dick can't even talk

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:59am
  • My dick, stretches her pussy walls, ur dick she can't even feel at all

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:23am
  • My dick is smaller then my dogs

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:46am
  • My dick, bigger than Tommy Lee, ur dick u let mommy see

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:24am
  • My dick, can populate the whole world, ur dick ain't even been inside a girl

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:50am
  • :( talk to me D.. :'( -Jenna

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 9, 09 at 11:35pm
  • My dick, is busy getting laid. Yo dick, wont ever make the grade.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 8:48am
  • My dick, fucked ur girlfriend to death, ur dick look addicted to Meth

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:21am
  • My dick, couldn't fit in a coozie, ur dick shoot quick like an oozie

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:46am
  • My dick does some damage, your dick needs a bandage

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:09am
  • speeeelling correctlay is so last year. hawwnestllly.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 9, 09 at 11:34pm
  • breakfast of champions

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 9, 09 at 11:24pm
  • Ma dick carries a load, ya dick looks like a chode.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 9:09am
  • my dick parts the seas, your dick just farts and queefs

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:09am
  • My dick never gets cold, your dick you cant even hold

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:26am