Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
