This girl is more easily done than said...
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
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