hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
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I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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