I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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