just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
