What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
