I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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