WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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