Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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