We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
