Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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