hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
