Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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