Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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