We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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