it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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