whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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