I've blown a few things in my day
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
