Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
