yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
