you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
