I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
we're so committed to being not committed
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
