I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
