You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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