Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
