That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
