Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
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well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
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Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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