Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
