I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
