Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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