Non-Jews are for practice
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
