Already got asked if we're dating
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
