i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Send us your Text From Last Night!
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
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