How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
