Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
