My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
