After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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