I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
