so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
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I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
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I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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