Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Are we still banned from the library?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
