i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Randomize