I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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