I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize