Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
