Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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