I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
