I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Can I color on your dick again?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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