yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
