i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
