Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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