i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
