my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
