I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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