I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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