Texts From Last Night

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  (619): View more from California

  I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case

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  (619): I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case http://tfl.nu/xr3i
  Replies (17) Good night (4585) Bad night (624)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.

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  (386): after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time. http://tfl.nu/767v
  Replies (59) Good night (36437) Bad night (1262)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI

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  (480): You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI http://tfl.nu/lcvv
  Replies (24) Good night (6811) Bad night (2019)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  where are you?

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Hypothermia

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  (443): where are you? (240): Hypothermia http://tfl.nu/1rtk
  Replies (20) Good night (2400) Bad night (4148)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.

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  (618): I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed. http://tfl.nu/50l6
  Replies (11) Good night (6989) Bad night (1012)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  you dipped you banana in queso last night.

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  (912): you dipped you banana in queso last night. http://tfl.nu/375m
  Replies (7) Good night (864) Bad night (1662)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.

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  (303): We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates. http://tfl.nu/w536
  Replies (8) Good night (2795) Bad night (552)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball

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  (412): just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball http://tfl.nu/dojj
  Replies (9) Good night (865) Bad night (1454)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE

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  (925): IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE http://tfl.nu/xvvi
  Replies (15) Good night (583) Bad night (1293)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear

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  (407): Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear http://tfl.nu/b5s7
  Replies (3) Good night (1163) Bad night (381)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.

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  (775): I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me. http://tfl.nu/o8pj
  Replies (1) Good night (702) Bad night (368)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.

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  (914): I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer. (216): Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro. http://tfl.nu/w82v
  Replies (2) Good night (685) Bad night (571)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control

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  (541): the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control http://tfl.nu/apyu
  Replies (1) Good night (530) Bad night (490)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.

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  (919): Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts. http://tfl.nu/b7ik
  Replies (3) Good night (711) Bad night (350)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.

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  (804): We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell. http://tfl.nu/sxed
  Replies (7) Good night (382) Bad night (650)

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