I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
39 Memes Anyone Who Cries When They See Their Bank Account Will Relate To
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..