Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl

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(404): last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl http://tfl.nu/5x3v

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(678): View more from Georgia

And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim

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(678): And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim http://tfl.nu/sj8k

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(607): View more from New York

How was dinner with ur grandparents?

(1-607): View more from New York

I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."

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(607): How was dinner with ur grandparents? (1-607) I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana." http://tfl.nu/9nup

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(601): View more from Mississippi

ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have

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(601): ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have http://tfl.nu/3y2p

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(952): View more from Minnesota

I love watching others lives come down to our level.

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(952): I love watching others lives come down to our level. http://tfl.nu/pfmq

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(214): View more from Texas

Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious

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(214): Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious http://tfl.nu/ofzu

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(317): View more from Indiana

I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.

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(317): I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account. http://tfl.nu/ui6k

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(973): View more from New Jersey

how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?

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(973): how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me? http://tfl.nu/anhw

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(214): View more from Texas

What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.

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(214): What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky. http://tfl.nu/b98l

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(919): View more from North Carolina

when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch

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(919): when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch http://tfl.nu/y99x

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(734): View more from Michigan

Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.

(904): View more from Florida

So when does your new flight leave?

(734): View more from Michigan

At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying

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(734): Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight. (904): So when does your new flight leave? (734): At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying http://tfl.nu/33le

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(937): View more from Ohio

I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.

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(937): I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding. http://tfl.nu/schb

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(+41): View more from Switzerland

She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"

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(+41): She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool" http://tfl.nu/0b6e

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(719): View more from Colorado

I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.

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(719): I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right. http://tfl.nu/asg0

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(248): View more from Michigan

I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants

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(248): I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants http://tfl.nu/k0mn

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