Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
