It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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