I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
