i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
