Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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