So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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