i just wanna soil my oats bro
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
