we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
