Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize