I didn't shave. On purpose
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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