Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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