I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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